What to Write (and What Not to Write) in a Funeral Guestbook

Traditionally, all that was expected at a funeral was to sign your name and write a short message. But guestbooks have evolved — and so has the opportunity to share something more meaningful. While this can be a beautiful way to support those who are grieving, it can also feel daunting if you're not sure what to say.

Here are a few thoughtful tips to help you leave a message that truly offers comfort:

1. Sign it — even if you’re unsure what to write.

We understand the temptation to skip it, especially if everything that comes to mind feels cliché. But even the simplest message can bring comfort. Just showing up and writing something heartfelt matters more than getting the words “just right.”

2. Mention your relationship with the person who passed.

For example: "Jack and I went to school together in the 80s — we worked together, played rugby, and laughed a lot. My favourite memory is when he..." A short story or memory is often cherished by family members, especially if it reveals something they didn’t know.

3. Share a quote that reminds you of them.

Including a quote — and a short note about why you chose it — can be a lovely tribute. It might be a lyric, a poem, or something they used to say.

What not to write in a guestbook:

• Anything that makes light of the situation. Grief is deeply personal.
• “I know how you feel.” Even if you've experienced loss, everyone's grief is different.
• “They’re in a better place now.” While meant kindly, this phrase may not comfort everyone.
• “It’s time to move on.” Grieving doesn’t follow a timeline, and this may feel dismissive.

The most important thing? Write from the heart.

Even if it feels clumsy, sincerity matters more than eloquence. Your words are a gesture of love and support — and that’s exactly what the guestbook is for.

Looking for a beautiful way to honour someone’s memory? Browse our funeral guestbook collection.